Lately I’ve noticed that I’ve become very guarded and distant. Yes I’ve expressed myself, yes I’m still keeping in contact and maintaining a connection with my friends but somehow…it’s all just surface. Not that it’s fake by any means, it’s just not all…solid. I’m not sad, I’m not happy, I’m just here.
I feel…………..disconnected.
I don’t know if that’s my doing, or if it’s something that is just happening but I do know that it’s now there, and I’m not quite sure how to get re-connected. A very good friend of mine recently sent me an e-mail asking “What is up!!! Are you mad at me?” and I wasn’t sure how to answer so I said I’ve just got ‘stuff’ going on…but really, I AM a little mad at her but don’t ant to tell her. You see, I don’t want to burst her happiness bubble right now (she’s getting married in a month and a half) and my drama with her is not something she needs right now. But, I also am afraid if I don’t say anything, it’ll strain our friendship. Oh ya, I forgot to mention…I’m a bridesmaid. But my ‘stuff’ with her is not the only stuff brewing…I’ve got other ‘stuff’ that is me. It’s all about the ‘me’ isn’t it! LOL
Anyways…I appear to be in a slump, and I really have no reason to be. On the whole, life is pretty good. I have my littleman, I have my health, I have a job, I have $ in the bank, I have my bills paid, I have a roof over my head, I contribute monthly to my and littleman’s futures, I am loved.
I just don’t WANT to talk to anyone in particular about my slump. I don’t WANT to share my reasons. I don’t WANT someone to tell me I’m being selfish, / unreasonable / silly / whatever I am being. Quite frankly…I don’t know WHAT I want!
Except maybe…………..a hug……………and a big glass of champagne!
Sending you a virtual hug and a virtual champagne toast!
I find myself becoming reclusive when I am dealing with difficult situations. It’s not healthy, but it’s my way of coping. It’s hard to reach out for help when you really need it.
Comment by Sparkling Mama — June 30, 2008 @ 12:18 pm |
(((HUGS))) and a big glass of champagne. Slumps come with the territory I think. It happens to the best of us. I hope that you can work through it.
Comment by Shiona — June 30, 2008 @ 1:48 pm |
I’m doing the same thing and feeling the same way right about now.
Here’s a big hug and big glass of champagne.
You’ll figure it out, as will I. Good luck to you.
Comment by SingleWorkingMommy — June 30, 2008 @ 4:46 pm |
Thanks for the support ladies……I’m feeling better, have had some downtime, some little man time AND some ‘me’ time…the combo always works wonders I think…
PS…..I’ve also managed a delightful spot of champagne…so here’s a toast to all of you …. wishing you joy and happiness always!!
Comment by littlemansmom — June 30, 2008 @ 11:16 pm |
Hug – champagne going out to ya!
Glad your feeling a bit better. Just wanted you to know that reading your post was a bit surreal cause I couldn’t have written the same thing….it’s a weird time…maybe it’s something in the air?
Hope everything keeps looking up up up for ya!
*hugs*
Comment by Erin — July 1, 2008 @ 8:54 pm |
LMM: No matter what the reasons, we all go through those kind of slumps. I was recently in quite a funk, very lonely and just sad about my relationship status (or lack of one). And it seems that everyone around me is having luck in that area — isn’t that always the way? (In fact, I just came back to work after a long weekend to learn my boss is engaged. She didn’t even tell us she was dating!) I’m very happy for them and happy with myself and my life overall, but it’s hard sometimes to understand why certain things come to some and not others.
Anyway, I’m glad to read you’re feeling a bit better. Let the feelings wash over you and know I am sending a virtual hug and good thoughts your way.
Comment by Susan — July 2, 2008 @ 7:24 am |
LMM: i so GET you. I seem to be slumping alot myself lately. harrummm.. i’m with Erin.. your post was surreal.
what i find.. is that i need a really good one-on-one connection time with either my best friend/sister (who i’ve had my share of tiffs with lately.. but i miss our “connection” times.. yanno?) or with Sweet Will. it’ll take an hour or two of fluff to get thru first before we get down to the meat. It has to be someone i’m free to laugh, cry and swear with.
I think.. maybe i’m wrong.. that the disconnection and slumpiness excacerbates when we pull away from people. I know.. I do it so often myself.
Sometimes.. just one person.. that we can share that bottle of champs with.. and a couple of deck chairs having an allnighter chat can solve some of the worlds’ problems… yanno?
Sorry about the clash with mommers. That sucks. Do you have a walk in freezer you can stuff her in for a bit to cool down? (grin)
Comment by Amy — July 4, 2008 @ 10:44 am |