A brand new day, with no mistakes…YET!

Lately I’ve noticed that I’ve become very guarded and distant. Yes I’ve expressed myself, yes I’m still keeping in contact and maintaining a connection with my friends but somehow…it’s all just surface. Not that it’s fake by any means, it’s just not all…solid. I’m not sad, I’m not happy, I’m just here.

I feel…………..disconnected.

I don’t know if that’s my doing, or if it’s something that is just happening but I do know that it’s now there, and I’m not quite sure how to get re-connected. A very good friend of mine recently sent me an e-mail asking “What is up!!! Are you mad at me?” and I wasn’t sure how to answer so I said I’ve just got ‘stuff’ going on…but really, I AM a little mad at her but don’t ant to tell her. You see, I don’t want to burst her happiness bubble right now (she’s getting married in a month and a half) and my drama with her is not something she needs right now. But, I also am afraid if I don’t say anything, it’ll strain our friendship. Oh ya, I forgot to mention…I’m a bridesmaid. But my ‘stuff’ with her is not the only stuff brewing…I’ve got other ‘stuff’ that is me. It’s all about the ‘me’ isn’t it! LOL

Anyways…I appear to be in a slump, and I really have no reason to be. On the whole, life is pretty good. I have my littleman, I have my health, I have a job, I have $ in the bank, I have my bills paid, I have a roof over my head, I contribute monthly to my and littleman’s futures, I am loved.

I just don’t WANT to talk to anyone in particular about my slump. I don’t WANT to share my reasons. I don’t WANT someone to tell me I’m being selfish, / unreasonable / silly / whatever I am being. Quite frankly…I don’t know WHAT I want!

Except maybe…………..a hug……………and a big glass of champagne!

Even when there is people around who love you…..today is one of those…

LM   “Mommy…can I have a turtle”

Me   ”What?”

LM   “A turtle”

Me   ”A stuffed one?”

LM   ”No, a real one”

Me   ”No honey, they stink up the house and they grow up big and then you have to let it go and carry salmonella” ( boy am I ever sounding like my mother! )

LM   ”Please mommy”

Me   ”Honey, you can’t even keep your room clean…how are you going to keep a turtle’s house clean”

LM   “But I will”

Me   ”No baby, no turtle”

LM   ”But I’ll let you cuddle it”

Me   “I don’t want to cuddle it…it’s hardly my idea of a cuddly pet…no turtle”

pout………pout………..pout……………

LM     ”Mommy….”

Me   ”Yes”

LM   ” How about a Wii”

Me   ” How did we go from turtle to Wii?”

LM   ” I figured worth a shot….”

Me   ” Oh sure (rolling my eyes) ….. ask me again around Christmas”

Oi!  

I’m waving bye-bye to that nasty ole’ pound I re-gained during my over-indulging weekend away…and another 1/2 to boot! I am on a role!

WooooooooHooooooooooo! Nothing like putting on an outfit that was snug a month ago and having lots of room to breathe!

Personally *I* don’t think so, it IS my favourite colour (I am NOT afraid to admit) and always has been.

I LOVE PINK!

Now, that being said, I confess that I feel deprived of pinkness because….I have a son. No no no….nothing like I wish I had a daughter or anything, but, because I have a little man, I do not decorate the house etc in the pink…..I don’t think it’s fair to him. What boy would want his friends over to his mom’s pink house?  LOL…. Everyone would seriously think I’m a little more loopy than usual!

I regularly dress in pink, my toes are pink, I have a number of pink shoes/bags/carry-ons/accessories/intimates (you get the picure). It makes me feel feminine, pretty, sexy, flirty. It’s my colour of empowerment. I can do ANYTHING when I’m in pink.  Am I a little crazy? Hmmmmm………….. some days I have to wonder….. But call me crazy, call me girlie, call me what you will, but pink does it for me, it gives me that ’something’ that harnesses my strength and is the push of positive to my self esteem…and we all need a little of that now don’t we. So no…..there really is no such thing as too much pink…..in my life.

What colour are you?

Well, today is littlemans last day of grade 2. He went off to school with a Tupperware full of strawberries and blueberries to share for his in-class party, his gift bag for the teacher, a bag of Cheetos’s to share for is after school party, a a BIG smile on his face! Sniff…..my littleman is growing up.

Last night was all about chillin’ before his big day so I let him hang out for a while in the hot tub…

During my lunch today, I’ll pop out and get him his graduation gift ( I know that his report card will be spectacular…and even if it wasn’t he still deserves a little something) . On Friday, he’s having his best-bud over for pizza, movie and a sleepover…..life is good when you’re 8!

I found this to be truly interesting. and it certainly made me stop and think for a moment. After all, these days for many women, career success does not equate with a direct climb up the corporate ladder.

The Families and Work Institute, a non-profit centre in New York that promotes healthy work environments, recently produced a report called Generation & Gender in the Workplace, which report that today’s employees are working longer and harder, in more demanding jobs than employees 25 years ago. It is currently believed that to retain talented women in the workforce, it is crucial for employers to establish flexible working arrangements that include reduced-hour options, flexible start and stop times, telecommuting and job sharing.

Apparently, our work attitudes are based on our generational differences:

Boomers (mid-late 50s) like predictability, consistency and limited flexibility;

Gen-Xers (mid-late 30s) are willing to work hard but not long and want more flexibility;

Gen Y (mid-20s to early 30s), philosophize that “work will never be done,” so they prefer to work hard, take breaks and have lots of options;

Gen “I” (mid-20s) like to work by multi-tasking, blend work and life throughout the day, and prefer to customize everything.

So, what do you think? Do you agree with the chart? Do you define who you are by what you do or do you define what you do with who you are?

Well, despite his disappointment, littleman and I managed to have ourselves a pretty good weekend. I picked up the card from the trash and tucked it away…just in case he decides he wants to give it to X after all….even though he HARDLY deserves it! I just don’t want littleman to be disappointed in himself for throwing it out so hastily. The Sunday evening phone call from his ‘father’ lasted all of about 3 minutes. Littleman was just not interested in having much of a conversation with him this week. I don’t blame him!

Went out and picked up the thank you gift for littleman’s teacher for the last day of school…this Wednesday. In a pretty round box we placed a collection of organic teas, and 2 kinds of organic jams. As you may have guessed, his teacher is all about the all-natural. I’m curious to know what some of you picked up for your kids teachers. I always try to do something usable and suiting the personality. Last year his teacher received a hand made award from littleman (framed), a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates in a little basket. This year, when I popped in to say hi, I saw the award on her wall and the basket in good use on the counter behind her desk. See….useful! So….what did you get for the teacher?