A brand new life, with no mistakes…YET!

Everything is moving by so quickly! I mean seriously, just where does time go? It’s already the last week of April and I feel like it was just the other day that we celebrated New Years!

I’m at 11 weeks today I’m really looking forward to the first trimester to be over just so the nausea can subside and so that I can get some of my energy back! I feel horrible being too tired to do anything! After coming home from work, I workout, make dinner then just want to curl up on the couch! Housework is falling behind, we have a laundry mountain and well….I just feel lazy!

On a more exciting side…Tomorrow we leave for CUBA!!! We are taking a family vacation before the peanut arrives and finances become a little tighter. It’s really important to me that littlebigman gets this time with us, and we get it with him. I am sooooooo looking forward to lying on the beach, bobbing in the ocean and hanging by the pool Yay for vacations!!!!

….it’s almost the end of March. Why is it still SNOWING!!!!?

Ugh, I am sooooooooooooooooo over this now! The past few weeks have been amazing and littleman has been able to wear a lighter jacket and his runners. Today we needed to pull out the winter jacket and boots. Needless to say, he was NOT impressed!

We’ve been working on some ‘home improvements’ of sorts around the house as of late. We recently (as in last week) ripped out the carpet from the main floor/basement hallway and replaced it with tile. I LOVE it! This is pretty much the only area in our house that had carpet and I couldn’t wait to get ride if it. The hallway and the rec room. The rec room is next, believe me! The rest of the house is hardwood and/or tile. Anyways, it looks great! We’re going to get rid of the old treadmill and redo the rec room to make it a little more inviting. We also plan to get rid of the futon in the spare room and start gutting it out. Spring cleaning season has hit us (even if the weather doesn’t agree) and we’re ready to hit it full force! We’ve pretty much been using this room for storage of stuff we NEVER use or look for. I figure if we;ve been in the house this long and haven’t used it, we’re probably not going to so toss it!

I’ve been trying to stay positive these days, but sometimes it’s so hard! I’m just so tired! I’m ready to nap come mid day. I just wanna curl up under the covers and sleep……… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

….again….

Spring is almost here, in fact this weekend it will be ‘officially’ here! TBM and I have moved on and passed our loss and are trying again. It was a tough thing to get over for 2 very different reasons:

1) just because loss is hard in general

2)littlebigman decided that perhaps if he hadn’t gotten excited about the prospects of a sister or brother, I wouldn’t have lost it…..

#2 was a bigger hurdle to get over. No matter how many different ways we tried to explain that this was in NO WAY his doing, he still took on a sence of responsibility for it. He explained it so clearly…he used to get excited about his father coming to visit, and then it would be cancelled so no visit. He would get excited about his father saying that he’s call on Sunday, no call came on Sunday…so he decided to stop getting excited about it, then he wasn’t disappointed. I really hate that man right now for doing this to my son. For taking away his right to feel as though it’s ok to get excited about things.

We’ve been working through this hurdle, and I think we’ve been successful. In the mean time, we’ve given littlebigman little things to work on getting excited about and making sure we follow through….like taking him away for the weekend to Niagara Falls to an indoor waterpark for his birthday! It was his birthday on Feb 23rd, so the following weekend we took him and one of his best buds and had a BLAST! See….sometimes you CAN get excited and good things DO happen!

I’ve been tucked away, keeping mostly a low profile and to myself. See, I’m consoling myself and trying to pull myself back up.

We recently went through a loss. With the exception of a tiny handful of people (6 to be exact), nobody knew. It’s exhausting to put up the happy game face while my heart breaks behind it.

We were almost 7 weeks along….I know, not that far, but far enough to make an impact. Far enough to leaving me with symptoms. Far enough for us to start with dreams and plans and smiles.

It’s getting better, and we’re going to keep moving forward. If it wasn’t meant to be then it just wasn’t. But that doesn’t make it easier. There will be a meant to be….I know it! I’m just sad that this one wasn’t it.

Sigh…. the next one….will be ….(cuz I said so!)

Funny how spring cleaning hits you more than just in the spring! I always get the ‘clean and organize’ bug in January, and again sometime in the spring. My office looks like a war zone…and it’s time to purge and organize! My goal this week is to attack the filing cabinet, the shelving unit and restore some semblance of organization!

I think that some of this bug hits after New Years because once we take down the tree and put all of the holiday decor away, everything always looks more open and spacious. I want every room to look that way….so I clean…and purge…and organize. Poor littlebigman, he hates it when this happens because that means he needs to work on his room too. LOL….Out with the old, make room for the new. TBM has been attacking the garage (slowly but surely and with minimal grumbling) It’s only fair seeing as most of the stuff in there is his anyways!

Speaking of purging, it’s always that time of year when I want to lose a few pounds! Yep, every year, and every year I do….but then at some point, it starts to creep back on and I’m back to where I started the previous year! So. 10-15 pounds is my goal….and my challenge to myself is to see if I can keep most of it off until next January….wouldn’t THAT be something!

Because I really don’t have anything of major consequence to write about I’m going to jot down randomness that’s been flying around my head.

• ‘plucky‘ seem to be a word that has been popping out of my mouth lately. Why? I have NO idea! 

• I have a confession….I have never been into the whole Twilight thing, but over the Christmas holiday, the movies were on the Movie Network. Littlebigman was off at his friend’s place, I was taking it easy and doing just about nothing that day so TBM and I watched them. I was totally (and shamefully lol) taken in by them. I now have the books to read and bought the movies (all of which I got dirt cheap at sales on boxing day!)

• everything has been smoothly moving into place. New house, new marriage, everyone’s adjusting nicely. I have developed a slight (all right HUGE) case of BABY FEVER! Yet, guess who’s going to be actively doing the baby dance?

• I am particularly proud of being in a very stable and comfortable financial position….finally! I’ll also admit, that most of it is due to my organization and number crunching. TBM is a great spender, so we sat down and talked about it all early on, now, we have 2 savings accounts (1 for the house and 1 for just because), our bills are paid every month and we never have to wonder ‘can we afford that?’ if we want to go and get something. I’ve got to admit…it’s a fantastic feeling!

• I have discovered (despite how weird it is) that I really do enjoy indulging in a nice bubble bath with a hot fudge sundae in hand!

• Over the Christmas holidays I did not lose any weight…but I didn’t gain any either! Ha! But I am working out 3-4 times a week to keep healthy

• Since when did littlebigman feel it was time to start wearing Axe?! Ummmm since NOW! Where did my baby go?

Yep, I gotta say, things are pretty rosy in my little world right now…I am wishing the same inner peace for all of you too!

Holy cow! We’ve made it all the way into a new year already!

This past year has held so much for me. I feel so lucky. So blessed I found love, got married, bought a house, went on my honeymoon, and started a new life with my son and husband. I have found peace….

It’s incredible to think that it wasn’t so long ago that I was a single mommy, fully prepared to life my life that way and raise my littlebigman on my own. Then walked in my future….and I can’t imagine where I would be right now if he didn’t walk in.

I have been one of the lucky ones in regards of the relationship between my son and his new stepdad. They get along FAMOUSLY! Two peas in a pod actually. Fully accepting of each other. It’s me that’s the problem! LOL. I struggle with the ‘shared parenting responsibilities’ aspect because I’ve been doing it on my own so long! I am getting better at it though! I’ve stepped back, bit my tongue and let TBM take the reins on occation…..and it kills me! LOL But I’m working on it!

Thank you to SMS for gently kicking me in the pants and getting me back on track! Here’s to a brand new year, with brand new mistakes (thank goodness for those new mornings to start fresh! LOL)

The pro shots are in and there are SO MANY OF THEM! I really love them! Our photographer did an amazing job!

As promised, here are a couple of my favourite ones….(feel free to click on them if you’d like to see them a little bigger )

As you can see, we had a really fun day….it was beautiful, relaxed…just what I’ve always wanted in a wedding day

So, apparently it’s time for me to get back into the swing of things….I’d say the honeymoon’s over but I don’t go on that until November!

Littleman’s football team has successfully made it to the final game to be played this weekend. Mind you, that’s no real surprise considering he’s been on a winning team for most of his football career! That being said, he’s decided it’s time to take a break from football once the season is over and try something else. Come September, littleman will be trying his hand at indoor soccer.

So I go from this:

to this:

Things are coming along nicely at the new house. Slowly but surely we’re getting things unpacked and put in it’s place. The gardens are blooming nicely, the neighbors are great, the street is quiet….gotta love the happy suburbanite life LOL!

Well…here’s to getting back into the reality of the swing of things!